"MUM"-orial DAY 2010

Life is full of things and stuff that keep us busy and running. In 2002 Scott and Erin were both heavily involved in the Salt Lake Winter Olympic ceremonies. Life was exciting and fun. Then we had a reality check. 2002 became a tough year. We lost my brother in February, Suzie’s Mother in April and her Father in August. A huge void was left in our lives and after eight years we still think of them daily, we miss them a great deal and we will have great memories of them always.

Memorial Day always makes you a little sentimental, but this year we all seemed to be more sentimental than usual… Suzie and I were walking our yard on Saturday and the flowers were so beautiful! Our snowball tree was popping. Across the street Pat’s lilacs and bridal veil were in perfect bloom. We started reminiscing about Memorial Day when we were young and how much Suzie’s mom would have loved the flowers this year. Since everything was so spectacular Suzie decided we should do old fashion flowers for her Mom’s grave…

The late spring made Memorial Day weather more like the “olden” days. The weather was cool and the spring flowers were still in bloom. Do you remember when we used to cut all of the flowers for the graves from the yard (or the neighbor’s yard)? Peonies, iris, snow balls, lilac, bridal veil? As you cut the flowers you had to put them in big buckets of water because you couldn’t arrange them until you got to the cemetery. Once you got to the cemetery you couldn't use a

real vase (how extravagant!) so we saved five pound cans or large Mason or mayonnaise jars to use as vases. If we were using a can we usually covered the outside with tin foil so the arrangement looked more presentable. Then we always used two pieces of wire coat hanger to stake the can to the ground so it wouldn’t tip over. Suzie and I both remember going with our parents to cut flowers early in the morning on Memorial Day so we could get them to the cemetery while they were fresh. Most of the flowers came from our own yards but we would go to my Grandma Drapers to cut iris. Suzie’s Grandma Rogers had rows of the most spectacular burgundy peonies growing along her back fence. The Rogers arrangements always started with peonies and then filled in with whatever else was in bloom. Grandchildren still live in the family home so there were peonies from the yard on Suzie’s grandparent’s grave this year. There were irises on my Grandpa Drapers grave.

The last few years it seems that we are well into summer by the time Memorial Day comes along so the spring flowers are long gone. Maybe it is the weather or the fact that green house cultivated chrysanthemums have gotten so reasonable that Memorial Day has turned into “MUM”-orial day… Maybe it is just easier to run to Dan’s and pick up six plants and be finished… The cemeteries are a beautiful sea of color with all of the brightly hued mums so I guess it is not as important what goes on the grave as it is important that those who have passed before us are remembered.

We have a ritual every year when we make the trek to the graves. It is always after church the Sunday before Memorial Day so we can drive into the cemetery and not park two or three blocks away. We always go to Provo first and park near the Rogers/Brown plots under the trees on Center Street just south of Main. We leave flowers there and then we walk past the graves of many family members and old friends as we work our way to the north-west corner to place flowers on my Grandpa Draper’s grave. We reminisce as we walk, sharing old memories, stories and experiences. The kids roll their eyes sometimes because they hear the same stories every year but I think it is important to remember those who have gone before. There are always certain markers that must be visited along the way (the crying woman, the tree of life, the Ream rock). Tradition, you know. When we get back to the car we drive over to the new part of the cemetery to visit Suzie’s grandparents (with the peonies) and her other uncles and aunts. Then we drive to Springville to visit my brother and my Grandpa Johnson. We don’t coordinate times, but sometimes we run into my parents or the “cousins” or other relatives. Sometimes it is just us, but it is always a nice experience to share with the kids.

As Sally Baskey said, “who we are today is the result of our past. Our upbringing, experiences, education, friends, etc” all shape who we are. We need to remember where we came from to know who we are or who we can become. Sharing that past with our families is important, if we only do it one day a year on Decoration Day.

MEMORIAL DAY TRIVIA…..Originally a day to honor only those who had died in the war now it has become a day to remember all who have died… The first “Decoration Day” was recorded in 1865 when flowers were placed on the graves of those who had died in the Civil War. In 1968 General John A. Logan proclaimed that “Decoration Day” be observed nation-wide. The name “Memorial Day” was first used in 1882 but it wasn’t declared Federal law until 1967. In 1968 Congress passed the Uniform Holiday Bill to make a three day weekend for Federal employees so Memorial Day became the last Monday in May. The law was effective in 1971.

Lots of town's claim to have been the first to celebrate Memorial Day. But, "it is not important who was the first. What is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all". (General Logan) and remembering those who have gone before.