Every once in a while you meet someone who entertains, makes you laugh, but most of all, really makes you think. When I was in Santa Fe a few weeks ago I attended a lecture by Sally Baskey and she really threw out some provocative ideas that tied in to my research on happiness. Unfortunately, I did not take notes while she was speaking but I remember three of her points were "this too will pass", "laugh" and "exaggerate". Hopefully I will have a chance to hear her again so I can take really good notes! I talked to her for a few minutes after she finished speaking and she agreed to send me her book so I could do some additional research. She told me that her book does not really follow her lectures, but it is more "the story of her". Anyway, when her book arrived I read it in a couple of hours. She made some really interesting points and she said it would be ok if I share.
Who we are today is the result of our past. Our upbringing, our experiences, our education, our friends all have an impact on who we are. If we are not where we want to be we can often waste a lot of time analyzing the past looking for something or someone to blame for our situation. In reality, we are capable of accomplishing anything we really set our minds to if we don't let situations from the past influence the direction we want to go. "There are no mistakes, just lessons to be learned". Life is too short to waste time and energy finding blame. Just pick yourself up and go for it. As my missionary son Scott said in his last letter, "don't just get up and go... get up and BE!".
Sally said she would never forget a comment her mother made when she was young about her nose and that if they ever had money they would have her nose fixed. Sally said she has had a nose inferiority complex ever since. I can relate. In Junior High everything is about perception. We are so insecure and trying to figure out who we are and where we are going. Desperate to find a niche for ourselves. One day in the school paper was a article, or a list really, of students who had a variety of the "biggest and best" attributes-- best looking, biggest biceps, best hair. Anyway, near the bottom of the list was "biggest nose" and next to that was my name! Trauma! Like Sally said, I had a nose inferiority complex from then on. This was 1972 but It is amazing how something so insignificant, and really meant to funny and not mean, can affect us for life. It followed me for years. Luckily, my wife worked for a great plastic surgeon when we were first married. Dr. Jim Clayton gave me a rhino-plasty (nose job) as a gift for my college graduation. I have never regretted the nose job but I do regret the fact that I let that little comment bother me for all those years.
It is amazing how 'things and stuff' can affect so many things in life. If we can just tell ourselves that "this to will pass" and learn to laugh at life's challenges we will be able to accomplish any thing, or at least SURVIVE most situations. Life is hard but it passes... but consider if things did not pass. What if things and stuff came to stay? Think about it.
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